I was at the end of a messy (emotionally messy) relationship and I went away with friends, including my ex, when I couldn't stand the smell of alcohol. The slightest amount turned my stomach and I knew... I just knew what was happening. I was only few days late but I could tell, something in the back of mind told me I was pregnant. I went to tell my ex and just couldn't say it, luckily he understood what my tears meant. Now this didn't mean that our relationship was instantly saved, on the contrary, I actually found what a nasty man he really was. I must point out though that it was a purely emotionally abusive relationship, not physical, it was probably made worse by my age and emotional immaturity too. We made a date for me to go round to his house to do a test, I didn't want my mum to know if it wasn't true. It took seconds to come up with a positive result. The first thing he said, much to my horror, was "Well, when are we getting rid of it". I've known since I was 10 years old that I wanted children, with or without a father. I was so upset and confused that I just let him call the shots, he took me to the Brooke clinic and they made an appointment for a scan to check the dates for a termination. I went on with my life and tried to ignore the life growing inside me. During the month of waiting for my scan I met a wonderful man, named Robin. (so begins the next chapter of Xanders short life)